Cremas & Coquito

Parenting, Partnering and Podcasting

How did you meet?

We met at work. I was in the marketing department in a nonprofit organization and he was working in the Information Technology department. We officially met when he came at a work get together, that’s when his dimples caught my eye. We have been inseparable since then. 

Describe your first date?

Simple. Cheap. Fun. 

We went to the Brooklyn Promenade and got ice cream. Walking around and taking in the beautiful scenery allowed us to be present in the moment and to get to know one another on a deeper level. We were able to just sit and talk freely and openly without any expectations. We weren’t trying to impress one another. We simply wanted to enjoy each other’s company.

How do you maintain individuality?

We try and maintain individuality by continuing to do the same activities we enjoyed prior to getting married such as brunch with friends, quality time with family and alone time.

How do you manage a work love balance?

We try and manage a work/love balance as much as possible. One way is we try and not think about work or do work related tasks once we get home. We set a specific time during the day for reconnection and US time. We communicate when we feel our needs aren’t being met and are intentional on prioritizing each other.

What is a piece of advice you’ve received that you’d pass on to another couple?

Check your emotions at the door before you get home. This helps us not displace any emotional baggage we may be carrying from the day onto our spouse.

What is the worst advice you’ve received?

Happy wife, happy life 

Both parties should be prioritized so we like to go by the moto Happy spouse, Happy house.

How has having a child changed the dynamic of your relationship?

Our focus and priorities have changed. We definitely have to work harder to prioritize ourselves. We are more vulnerable, conscious of each other’s free time, hyper aware of each other’s moods and when to step in and take over. Having a child has made us better team players, more understanding of each other and has definitely strengthened our bond and tested our love and commitment to one another.

How do you manage the finances? Shared or Separate accounts?  Why?

We have both separate and joint accounts. 

The joint account takes care of all of the house hold bills. Our individual accounts are used for discretionary money and allows us to spend the money the way we see fit.

How do you resolve disagreements?

My husband is the BEST communicator on Earth. He usually leads the resolutions to each argument. I acknowledge this can be toxic, I have been working on being a better communicator. We usually try and cool off after a heated discussion and revisit the topic once we’ve cooled down. We always try and resolve a conflict before the day is done. We try and let each other know in the moment that something triggered us. We have a general rule of thumb- only one person can be mad at a time (this person is usually me).

What are 3 goals you share as a couple?

-Creating Family 

-Building an investment portfolio and multiple streams of income to support the lifestyle that we would like to live

-Continuing to choose each other, effectively communicate and always allowing each other a safe space to express ourselves

What is one word you would use to describe your relationship and why?

Resilient 

Our relationship has gone through many ups and downs, especially after having a child. We have never given up on our love even when we both have wanted to throw in the towel. We choose each other each and every day and we are grateful for everything we have been blessed with. We do not take this union for granted.

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